pierrot

Jak je nemožná..
Trapná i na srazu recesistů, protže JEJÍ recese je až příliš dokonalá..
Její tělo křičí "Jsem tady!Dívejte se!" ale nikdo to neslyší.. všichni zírají kamsi pryč, ona je jen černý blýskavý flek na duze, která tančí kolem nich..
Je jí smutno, v hlavě a před očima se jí promítá všechno.. všechny tváře, cizí i její, jak se měnily v čase..
Ty dvě si povídají, jedna je dokonce součástí duhy.. říká, že v ní být nechce, ale ona ví, že ji to těší.. proto přeci existuje, ne?
Být součást duhy.. ale jak? Duha ji přehlíží.. tak hledá ty černé.. ale pak zjistí, že všichni se tak jen tvářili, protože ve skutečnosti hrají všemi barvami.. jako duha.
A ona neví, co s tím, jak se té černé zbavit.. jak přestat být jen nečistotou, jen kazem..co když na to nikdy nepřijde?

achtung, achtung

Protože se Agnes právě převrátil svět naruby (podotýkám, že směrem více než dobrým - ale však ono to přejde..) a protože angličtina je strašně suchá (chybí mi všechny ty citoslovce, patvary, zkomoleniny a pseudoslova..), rozhodla jsem se psát občas něco jazykem, který jakžtakž ovládám..
..bez chyb to nebude beztak nikdy..

..a pokud jde o případné cizince, Google translator se o ně postará - nehledě na to, že na zkomoleniny od Googlu beztak moje fantasie nemá =X

..

Because Agnes' world has radically changed (let me say that its direction is good right now - but I know it wouldn't last forever) and because English is such boring language (I miss all the interjections and nonsense words from Czech) I decided to use language I know a little bit better..

..it's not going to be without mistakes anyway..

..and when it comes to foreigners, Google translator takes care of them - its funny translations are much better than mine by the way =X

Dear Lady America,

.. I have never had anything against You.
I love Your music, Your history, Your literature (Mr. Poe <3). Many of Your citizens became my heroes who I want to see for myself one day.
I must admit I don't like Your fast food chains but that's because vegetarians can't find there anything to eat.
I am not religious, I hate wars.. But political system isn't perfect in any state I know so I cannot say anything bad on its address.
..
But, please, could You explain me WHY did You get the icon of muslim world the day my parents went for the greatest holiday of their lifetime to NEW YORK?! I love them so much and now I am sitting on a sofa, safe, but shaking because of fear. You owe me thousands of tears and my nerves. And nine sleepless nights (or full of nightmares.. the today's one was extremely horrible..)
..
After two weeks I should be able to do one of the biggest exams in my school life and I cannot concentrate because mum and dad are behind the ocean, in a land where everything is possible. I wish they enjoyed it as much as they can. I am ready for all troubles if it would keep them safe. But why.. why, why why.. Two little creatures who stayed at home need their parents. And not only these two..

PS: I have nothing against muslims, I know that not all of them are terrorists. But only one person with bombs around one's body can destroy many lives..

2PS: My mum called me that they are okay. This article was written in fear and nervousness. There are another bad things which can happen. So, please, Lady America, take care of them.

hi.. is there anybody out there?

no.. I do not need a company..(or the title just does not have anything in common with the actual state of my mind) 

I just need to absorb some feelings and experiences from this Saturday..

I cannot remember when was the first time I saw The Wall, but I know that for a few days I was addicted to the film and every free time I drew the curtains, sat on the sofa and pressed "play" and after that my body travelled across the universe through various dimensions into the deepest places of my imagination and the feeling was just too perfect to stop it..

after a while my addiction faded, another film or music occupied the top of my body, but I have never forgotten that crazy time inside the Wall..

..

I am not a fan of great concerts or shows with thousands of people in the audience.. I find it quite uncomfortable and also impersonal.. but when my dear dad told me he bought two tickets for the Prague concert of Roger Waters and The Wall I simply could't resist!

Describing the way from our house through various bars, cafes, when I was drinking water because I knew I will have to drive home (grrrh), is unimportant.

The show started with a very short delay (not over 10min) and it was.. grandious. It doesn't happen to me very often, but I started to cry at the beginning after the first notes vibrated my guts..
a white rag doll was sentenced to death and Mr. Roger came to see the audience..

The Wall was begun..

there were so many things I could enthuse about.. a group of children singing "we don't need no education" to a big ugly puppet of the teacher.. amazing projection.. military aircraft.. searchlights.. black pig airship.. all the phrases.. parody on the Apple.. links to Orwell's 1984..

..thousands of running shivers down my spine.. some tears.. and my eyes wide open not to miss any important allegory..

If anybody wants to hear something negative then I can mention only one thing - the intermission. The most disturbing moment when all the magic, that was growing during building the wall, broke because of all the people running out to visit the bathroom and drink at least one crucible of beer.. without that I could call the final fall of the wall one of the moments after which You can die because You won't be able to experience it twice and it would be really hard to find another moment like this.

Driving home in the light of nearly-full moon was now different. I am sure that this evening has a big effect on me. At least for a few weeks, I'm sure..

PS: I live in a country where really existed communism and its socialictic system. Everyone can say that I am young and that The Wall is not the best piece ever made - and I agree. But the historical experience which had a terrible effect on Czech society is something that would always make me love it - although it is in a specifically strange and scary way..

Bells were ringing, Agnes was singing..

..but the melody was different =X

I realized I hate funerals.. but not because of death who caught another innocent creature.. but because of another family meeting.

I realized I prefer The Cure's version of Love will tear us apart than the original by Joy Division =X

I realized I am loosing the marathon with the Time which is laughing at me and trying to destroy everything I am working on..

..and I realized that calling Confused "confused" wasn't such a good idea.. because it made him confused in real which is not what I intended =X

Realizing things is not much fun.. better is knowing nothing and being lost in Your own thoughts. But I realized that just too late..

I'm not after fame and fortune..

..Agnes should stop listening to RA so often..but it is stronger than her.. she need to do it or she will get mad.. wait a minute.. she actually got mad!!

I was watching the Lords of Dogtown and.. I really want to skate, now!!
I love winter.. today is the day when snowflakes came back to say "hello" and I was happy that I saw them, but.. they built the barrier between me and my will to fall on hard concrete while wearing wheel boots, because it can make me feel alive.
But now? I am stuck in my bedroom because viruses and bacterias came for a visit, watching silly teenage films and dreaming about next week..

two schoolless weeks.. two weeks of heaven?
not at all..
I want to see Mr. C and tell him the truth..
exactly how lady Lou has written to me..
I have got a beautiful package from her^^

and also a letter from miss G.

I have not seen her for..7 years? and she can still remember me!

"I'm about to have a nervous breakdown.. my head really hurts.."
am I really such a typical teenager or is this song really describing how do I feel?
See, I should stop listening to that.. I should return to Mr. Cave and Corner and Curtis.. but You know what? They are my energy vampires, I always feel so weak after their songs.. so I need crazy rock of some guys who might be called posers because they play on saving the planet and then eat in McDonald's, but the energy.. the energy* is something special on them and I cannot give it up.. because I love it.. the same as I love skating.. and I need it..as soon as possible..

*when I write about energy I mean the earlier songs..



poizen me

I am not posting this picture for nothing..
I think the dress of my poupée, her face expression, the room and also the little piyos are showing me right now..

I should not promise anything but I am making an exception..
I will soon write something longer and much more interesting.. until then, just watch the badly printed picture..