Friday, August 5, 2011

Fake Italian and other true stories

oh yeah, a new article for foreigners!..I know You are not gonna read it anyway.. I just need to excercise this language, that's all..


Holiday is a silly season. I think the silliest of seasons. People have too much free time even when they are still going to work and school life is long way behind them..and that is the best time they do and think like silly people.
One old lady told me she would rather be dead than live like this..and not only a week after that she was just so satisfied with everything around her that she stopped thinking like this and started to crochet little angels because Christmas time is coming.

Other old lady was told she has pulmonary embolism. Her cupboard is now filled with various pills and even when she knows she is ill and she would need help from her children she decided to stop communicating with her son because he got divorced and found a new woman – younger, prettier, but mainly –NICER.

And I am not talking about her youngest daughter who was sent to hell just because lady Raisin did not like her. Nobody knows why but it was the worst argument I ever saw so I think it’s better that they stay away from each other. Unfortunately, me and my brother decided to visit her because it was the best way how to show the beauty of young woman.. and I had to drive our monster car which is “undriveable” and I still drive like a scared bunny for who are pedals and gear lever and steering wheel too far away for his tiny paws.. I think I deserve a bed full of fluffy toys now ^^.
When I mentioned a bed.. mine just decided that I was treating her with my wild dreams too much so it just fell through. Don’t ask me why, it just happened. It’s repaired now and my dreams are much wilder.. I hope that now it will last longer because I cannot imagine anything worse than wake up on the ground when Nazis are hunting me and my colleague from summer job (one of recent nightmares.. Don’t ask me about Nazis. I have no idea how could they get there.. Although I blame Norway..o.O)
Oh yeah, Norway.. another silly tragedy. How could a quite handsome man shoot so many beautiful people just because he did not agree with their opinions? (I know it is much more complicated but that’s not important..) If I did this thing every time someone disagrees with me there would be no people on Earth (Absolute hyperbole.. but it sounds cool ^^). And I am not Nazi.. or racist.. or against Gay community.. or in any kind of church or religion.. I am just a teenage creature.

Because of the excess of silliness my body said STOP! You have to dress me or I will collapse. And because every silly magazine for female creatures says You should be listening to Your body I took our old not-such-monster car and went to my favourite thrift stores to cure my body. Unfortunately my favourite one was opening one hour later than I expected so I went to another one.
It did not seem I will buy there anything but I was really precious when I was looking at the clothes because the shop was quite small and one hour was too long.. But it was hopeless. However before I almost decided to leave, the shop assistant appeared there and started to talk with me. He seemed like Italian and he could be around.. 35? I am not sure. Firstly, when he saw my top with Edward Scissorhands he asked me whether it is Johny Depp. And then I don’t know how we were talking about usual things.. well, mainly it was him who talked a lot. I think I will never find anyone on this planet who will listen to me..see? That’s why women talk a lot – because when You meet them, You do not close Your mouth and then they are frustrated so when they finally get a chance to speak they start to scream and You think they are hysterical and unbalanced. It’s not fair. But he apologized for that, it was nice.
Okay, well.. I heard a lot about his life, why he moved here.. and his problems with Czech language (the conversation was from 99% in English) and Czech people. I think he felt lonely and needed a company for a while. And because when I was asked about my age he guessed I could be 15 (yayx..^^) I became a patient listener. And even there was nothing I desired to buy I found a simple gray tea shirt I bought just to make him happier. In the face of fact I am not into Southern-type guys (yeah.. I like the deadly pale guys with no muscles and weird confused faces <3.. d’oh =X) I must admit he was nicer than most of the people who are not afraid to shout at another person swear-words across the street or just say them behind one’s back in the underground..

Ehm.. what happened next? He gave me his mail address and I went on shopping. I am not sure I would write to him.. but maybe I should.. just to show Czechs are not so bad inside.. but You know, they have nothing to be proud of.. the government is stupid like everywhere else but it’s still not so funny.. beer might be our treasure but when You look at the people who drink it too much You would rather turn around.. and because of perfect conditions for life You will never hear about our tornados, hurricanes, tsunamis, terrorist attacks, floods (compared to other countries), snow calamities, UFO, animal attacks, insect diseases.. because there aren’t any (which the world might be interested in.)

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