snění o požárech a o dědečcích

..

***

Jaký to úchvatný den se zase nekonal..

One day.. the abosolutely perfect day in my life I want to wake up and say “I’m feeling good”

honeysweet chocolate day

instead of making another heartbreaking New Year's wish to all the pretty people in the world, I have to solve a dilema..

buy or not to buy?

Helen Rochfort is absolute genius.. I wish I could buy more bags and give them as presents but none of my friends is obsessed with the fantastic sweet world of wonders and magic..
maybe Kuya is but I am not sure she would use it..
aww..ohh =X

Advice no.1: Never ask tarot cards when You are afraid of the answer
Advice no.2: Pushing daisies cheer You up ^^

lost in post

I had a horrible dream today..

I was at some meadow or on the forest road when I saw a creature.. it had two legs and an enormous head with a giant mouth and it remind me some kind of frog.
Its skin was scaly but not so rough..
It terrified me but at the beginning it did not seem to hurt me.. actually, it wanted to play with me.. or me to follow it?.. my memory is not so clear.. but after a while the creature changed its mind and started to bite me.. my whole body was in its mouth however I could not feel its sharp teeth. I was not hurt at all.
Then I can remember I was trying to escape it.. with some members of my family..
..and after that came blackout because I waked up.

the end of the year started inviting everyone to celebrate, myself included..

I am not a fan of big festivals and parties, actually, I hate watching drunk people..
I find them disgusting.. gross.. but perhaps also happy.

What do they miss in this world? A little drop of spirit makes them believe that they can do everything and that their troubles have never really existed.
Everything is so bright and beautiful and.. tottering..

I am to spend the last day of the year at my granny's.

This is not what I planned about two days ago but my plans almost never become true.

Actually, I am looking forward to that.

My granny is the most important person in the world for me now. We can spend the whole day talking and laughing and crying and dreaming.. and I have not seen her since the winter holiday started.
Okay, my family went there after the Christmas Eve but how can You make fun of Your own family when they are right behind You?..

about the song..

last two days I spent watching Pride and Prejudice (the one with Keira Knightley and also the one with Colin Firth.)

16 hours of watching this beautiful dreamy story^^

of course, I could go for a walk or ice-skating or read all the books I have got but doing pointless things without any resolution is something I am really good at..

but I realized I have to wake up from dreaming and laziness because I need to get some white empire dress^^..

spider man is having me for dinner tonight

Many people says that the music of The Cure works as a real cure..
I love the music but I think it is making me feel worse..
and neither the hair and make-up of Robert Smith can make it better..

I said I am looking forward to snow and Chirstmas and all of this stuff, but..
I cannot say I am happy.

I met many beautiful people at the Prague Lolita meeting.. and drank yogi tea, which I love..

I have written a letter but there is noone I can give it to..
Confused is missing.. and there is the whole weekend I have to wait before I get another chance..
I feel desperate and miserable and hating myself and the unknown creature..

..I am just a lost teenage girl and this is how can I complain about it all..

descending angel

Where should I begin?
..
Colourful leaves are raining and I cannot see the road because they have covered everything. And one is in my mind too. How could it get inside? o.O

The day before yesterday I saw him. Mr. Confused. He sat in front of me so I could watch him.
Well, it is his favourite seat. At the back in the line behind the busdriver. Mine too.
So we play these silly games like who will sit there today? And I won^^. The day before yesterday..
But he will never know it. It is all in my head. I just sit and watch and think.
I am afraid of falling alseep so I could miss the pretty view although I know he exits the bus in the same station as me. And then he goes to the underground for Metro news, turns around and leaves the foolish girl behind him with her silly thoughts and dreams. And she goes her own way on, holding the same newspapers, because she does not want to be late at school, where she can continue in dreaming..

I had finnish language course yesterday.

Finnish is magical, the language of elves and fairies and moomins..

My teacher is a bit confused too but I like her teaching.. I cannot imagine me teaching anybody anything..

After finnish I had meeting with Kuya. We went to the cinema on Habermann's mill*.
I have never hated my own nationality so much.

I do not like Germany /although Heaven under Berlin** is wonderfull/ and wars but I cannot say that German people are worse than anyone else.

People can be horrible and cruel everywhere and everytime. Just choose..

Blood sampling is waiting for me. Syringes started to sing their song of sleaze..

On Friday I am going to see the doctor.

I do not want to swoon but these days I do not feel much strong or brave. Actually, I am terrified.

Only Edgar brings me up.
This one:

from here

Underbust with Poe.. I can imagine me wearing it during the final exams from literature ^^

But I am not sure whether to buy it.. I am pathetic but is it enough to spend so much money on crazy corset?

Gorgeous kitsch..

I should have been learning chemistry and biology..
But it is not such fun as self-pity and silly dreaming..

What the hell happened to me?

Agnes

*Habermannův mlýn - Czech film directed by Juraj Herz

**Nebe pod Berlínem - Czech book written by amazing Jaroslav Rudiš <3