čokoládové přežírání

No, Agnes is not dead. Not even ill, I haven’t escaped anywhere.. my moods in last three months were changing from “I’m going to kill myself” to “I love this world and everyone in the whole universe”..

silver and blue

 

všechno je tak smutné..
sníh nikde, zkoušky na krku..
dárků mám pořád nějak málo..
a když se mám učit, tak dělám milion věcí kolem, aby mi náhodou něco nezůstalo v hlavě.. třeba poslouchám tohle:

ale přeci jen jsem se z toho něco naučila..

POTŘEBUJI STŘÍBRNÉ LEGÍNY A MODROU BARVU NA VLASY =X

let's clean the closets!!

Je tomu už delší dobu, co malá Agnes bloudila ve skříni a totálně se v ní ztratila, protože nemohla najít to, co chtěla. I řekla si, že už toho je dost a tak skříň přebrala, částečně utřídila a když ji konečně zavřela, na zemi jí leželo několik bezprizorních kusů oblečení, které už zkrátka nebylo kam dát a nebylo ani příliš reálné, že by si je Agnes zase někdy oblékla (z mnoha rozličných důvodů, ty velikostní raději nebudeme komentovat =X), tudíž si založila podivnou stránku, kde se jí snad podaří některé kousky udat...

..věcí určitě ještě přibude víc, zatím to jsou kusy spíše mudlovského rázu, ale přijdou i zajímavější kousky (nebo si to aspoň Agnes myslí =X)

let's go to the mall ^^

trochu zázrak, trochu kobliha, trochu panika

I have to say I planned to post something different but plans never actually come out like we expected so.. that’s it.

i have yoyo.. yo yeah yeah..

*omluva slečně K. za šlohnutí textu z bublinky její panenky – nutno říci, že opodstatněně, ovšem to se nejspíš zbloudilé oči čtenářů dozví až někdy příště*

rozteklá

..how a little girl decided to humiliate herself by writing in language she barely understands again..

Everyone I know - me included - complains about the boiling scourge which arrived at the worst moment ever.. And I don't mean the end of holiday, becuse mine will continue until the end of this September.. well, I hope =X

Because of the lack of any plan for tomorrow - except the evening with Miss Pete - I am not going to wake up to that baking athmosphere although my body is not made of sugar or chocolate to be melted but I just cannot stand it.. this is not the climate I was born for.. I will rather sleep all day..

..my domain is clouded sky, lightly strong wind..snowing when it gets dark in winter and mizzle during the rest of the year.. conditions which allow me to wear sweater, jackets, coats..or just a stupid cardigan, I don't care.. but please, bring me cold, bring me Christmas!

I feel like an idiot but I realized that I am not the only one who feels they're coming.. this week I saw two various episodes of two various series on Czech tv with Christmas theme.. and what is worse, I totally support it!

last week I saw wonderful winter boots.. with heels, victorian inspired.. but made of leather, so, I did not buy them but I really started to think about ice on the street, white snowflakes on my black coat, which I have to buy, by the way..

everyone on January is surprised that there is so much snow and wants the winter to stop spreading its power but for me the hell starts when the sun rises before I have to get up.

I hate holiday, there is too much time for me to think about things.. just me and all my demons locked in a room coated to bloody red..

and when I sometimes meet my friends I fall deeper in black thoughts after they leave..but its mainly because of questions they ask me and their little obsessions which unleash madness in my head even when I try to ignore it..sometimes it works better, sometimes it's worse..you know - LIFE.

Fake Italian and other true stories

oh yeah, a new article for foreigners!..I know You are not gonna read it anyway.. I just need to excercise this language, that's all..



Holiday is a silly season. I think the silliest of seasons. People have too much free time even when they are still going to work and school life is long way behind them..and that is the best time they do and think like silly people.
One old lady told me she would rather be dead than live like this..and not only a week after that she was just so satisfied with everything around her that she stopped thinking like this and started to crochet little angels because Christmas time is coming.

Other old lady was told she has pulmonary embolism. Her cupboard is now filled with various pills and even when she knows she is ill and she would need help from her children she decided to stop communicating with her son because he got divorced and found a new woman – younger, prettier, but mainly –NICER.

And I am not talking about her youngest daughter who was sent to hell just because lady Raisin did not like her. Nobody knows why but it was the worst argument I ever saw so I think it’s better that they stay away from each other. Unfortunately, me and my brother decided to visit her because it was the best way how to show the beauty of young woman.. and I had to drive our monster car which is “undriveable” and I still drive like a scared bunny for who are pedals and gear lever and steering wheel too far away for his tiny paws.. I think I deserve a bed full of fluffy toys now ^^.

When I mentioned a bed.. mine just decided that I was treating her with my wild dreams too much so it just fell through. Don’t ask me why, it just happened. It’s repaired now and my dreams are much wilder.. I hope that now it will last longer because I cannot imagine anything worse than wake up on the ground when Nazis are hunting me and my colleague from summer job (one of recent nightmares.. Don’t ask me about Nazis. I have no idea how could they get there.. Although I blame Norway..o.O)

Oh yeah, Norway.. another silly tragedy. How could a quite handsome man shoot so many beautiful people just because he did not agree with their opinions? (I know it is much more complicated but that’s not important..) If I did this thing every time someone disagrees with me there would be no people on Earth (Absolute hyperbole.. but it sounds cool ^^). And I am not Nazi.. or racist.. or against Gay community.. or in any kind of church or religion.. I am just a teenage creature.

Because of the excess of silliness my body said STOP! You have to dress me or I will collapse. And because every silly magazine for female creatures says You should be listening to Your body I took our old not-such-monster car and went to my favourite thrift stores to cure my body. Unfortunately my favourite one was opening one hour later than I expected so I went to another one.

It did not seem I will buy there anything but I was really precious when I was looking at the clothes because the shop was quite small and one hour was too long.. But it was hopeless. However before I almost decided to leave, the shop assistant appeared there and started to talk with me. He seemed like Italian and he could be around.. 35? I am not sure. Firstly, when he saw my top with Edward Scissorhands he asked me whether it is Johny Depp. And then I don’t know how we were talking about usual things.. well, mainly it was him who talked a lot. I think I will never find anyone on this planet who will listen to me..see? That’s why women talk a lot – because when You meet them, You do not close Your mouth and then they are frustrated so when they finally get a chance to speak they start to scream and You think they are hysterical and unbalanced. It’s not fair. But he apologized for that, it was nice.

Okay, well.. I heard a lot about his life, why he moved here.. and his problems with Czech language (the conversation was from 99% in English) and Czech people. I think he felt lonely and needed a company for a while. And because when I was asked about my age he guessed I could be 15 (yayx..^^) I became a patient listener. And even there was nothing I desired to buy I found a simple gray tea shirt I bought just to make him happier. In the face of fact I am not into Southern-type guys (yeah.. I like the deadly pale guys with no muscles and weird confused faces <3.. d’oh =X) I must admit he was nicer than most of the people who are not afraid to shout at another person swear-words across the street or just say them behind one’s back in the underground..

Ehm.. what happened next? He gave me his mail address and I went on shopping. I am not sure I would write to him.. but maybe I should.. just to show Czechs are not so bad inside.. but You know, they have nothing to be proud of.. the government is stupid like everywhere else but it’s still not so funny.. beer might be our treasure but when You look at the people who drink it too much You would rather turn around.. and because of perfect conditions for life You will never hear about our tornados, hurricanes, tsunamis, terrorist attacks, floods (compared to other countries), snow calamities, UFO, animal attacks, insect diseases.. because there aren’t any (which the world might be interested in.)

začne to na floridě

achjo, proč já mám nejvíc energie předtím, než mám jít spát o.O
nehledě na to, že zítra budou v práci samí staříci a ti hrozně rádi o všem brblají a je nutno jim neustále vysvětlovat, proč jsou věci tak, jak jsou, ačkoli jsou členy klubu a nejsou tam poprvé a moc dobře vědí, o co se jedná, protože jim to jiná dobrá duše stokrát vysvětlovala už předtím.. ale o tom to dnes není..*

Agnes sice byla neskutečně ospalá, ale stejně se dívala na Hanka a Mikea, dva Velikonoční zajíčky, co přijdou o práci, protože tomu zkrátka nešlo odolat^^.. a taky už jí chyběly večery u dvojky s titulkama.. prostě léto podle jejího..
to ovšem netušila, jak ji uhrane tato píseň..

je tak teskná a něžná, přitom drsná a praštěná.. úplně vidím dvě kamarádky (věkově nijak nevyhraněné), co se sešly k večeru, aby popily trochu vína, ovšem nezůstaly jen u jedný lahve, a tak pijou, poslouchají výkvět všech smutnejch songů od Nicka Cavea a Lykke Li, truchlí nad svýma podivně se vyvýjejícíma životama a najednou zazní tenhle hit a ony začnou svýma sopránovýma hláskama falešně zpívat, tančit a válet se po stole a po křesílkách či židličkách, hlásky přidávají na síle, jedné tečou slzy, druhá se opírá jednou rukou o zeď a v druhé jakžtakž drží lahev s vínem a prostě tam tak jsou, v celý tý teatrální sentimentální a kýčovitý scéně..

a já najednou lituju, že tu teď nemám víno, který mi ani vlastně nechutná, a nějakou kamarádku, se kterou bych mohla zpívat a truchlit a pít, protože asi žádná z těch skutečných na tom není tak, aby to potřebovala..a já možná taky ne, ale fakt se mi ta scéna líbí a až se zítra budu barikádovat před hladovými staříky, protože se odmítám přiblížit k tomu kontejneru s řízky, co tam zítra přivezou, takže radši jim budu psát výsledky a v hlavě mi bude tohle celý hrát..

kdyby se někomu úvodní video zdálo příliš krátké (mně tedy určitě), tak delší verze je tu..

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*nemám nic proti starým lidem.. jen proti těm, co mne, jako jim věkově nerovnou, hází rovnou do pytle s nápisem "ta neschopná mladá, co ničí tenhle svět, kterej je proti nám"..a je jich sakra hodně..

insomniac somnambul

Za pár hodin sice mám být na place a uměle se usmívat na olímečkovaná (ne)stvoření, což vyžaduje hlavně dobře se vyspat, protože moje tělo na kofein naschvál nereaguje (což mne ovšem neodrazuje lít ho do sebe v mé oblíbené koncentraci s mlékem, skořicí a třtinovým cukrem v neomezeném množství), ale já teď prostě nemůžu usnout.
Měla jsem v hlavě spousty článků, které jsem si hezky sepsala, zeditovala, doplnila pár vskutku ftipnými detaily.. ale když jsem klikla na "publikovat", tak mi došlo, že to všechno z mé hlavy sice rázem vyletělo ven, ale nezastavilo se to v žádném koutě virtuální reality, ke kterému bych měla přístup, nýbrž to prostě zmizelo. Přesně v tom okamžiku, kdy jsem si řekla, že nějaké pozůstatky snad ještě dám dohromady a přeci jen je v nějaké nudnější a zmatenější formě sepíšu..

Místo toho začnu znovu.

První věc, která nesmí zůstat nezmíněna, jsou oči pana Jareda, co sice nesvítí ve tmě (a já se tak těšila!) a jsou ještě umístěna v hlavě, která umí jen zatraceně nudně zpívat (omluva všem fanouškům 30stm, ale nemohu jinak), ovšem řádně to dokáže vykompenzovat nejšílenějšími nápady, jakože vám dovolí přelézt zábradlí, které by vás normálně obralo o dalších sedm stovek čistého, aniž by vám v tom rádobydrsní sekuriťáci bránili. Musela jsem chvilku přemlouvat slečnu K. a taky mi to přivodilo pár modřin a otlačenin na horní části stehen, ale stálo to za to.

Zadruhé, Agnes přijali na školu, kde nebude dělat nic jiného, než to, co celou dobu chtěla dělat. Fakt. A ačkoli je to stvoření, co někdy působí, že je němé, dostalo více bodů z mluvení než ze psaní..

Zatřetí, navštívila jsem ráj všech leváků^^ a teď nemyslím ten divný obchod v Praze, co se tak špatně hledá, až to musíte vzdát a najít ho jindy v naprosto neočekávanou chvíli.. myslím tím město veliké, ležící na řece Temži, plné prodavačů indického původu, město, jímž vede jediná trasa metra na světě, která mi způsobuje alergii, město všech potterofilů, zastydlých punkáčů a bítlsáků.. myslím Londýn.

Začtvrté, už zase mi všechno skončilo najednou. Nemohlo to chvilku počkat, než se vzpamatuju z jedný změny. Ne, to nedočkavé cosi, co mne budee asi navždy doprovázet, se rozhodlo, že se mou půjde dál životem, abych si náhodou nezvykla na to, že jednou přijde den, kdy snad budu i docela šťastné a relativně usazené stvoření.

Jsem sice jedna z milionů těch, co už o tom napsali sáhodlouhé sentimentální vyprávění, a další přibývají každým dnem, ale kdyby to od vašich necelých osmi let byla velká část vašeho světa, budete na tom stejně. Pan Potter skončil =(..

Komu se o té brýlaté stvůřičce nechce nic číst, nechť využije příležitosti a zavře tuto stránku právě teď..

..

Ouki, douki.. teď je to moje^^

Nepatřím mezi děti, co by bez Harryho byly ochotné číst akorát smsky a statusy na fejsbuku. Četla jsem vždycky. A četla jsem hodně. První čtyři díly jsem do sebe nacpala jako to výše zmíněné kafe bez nějakých zbytečných prodlev. Když mi bylo deset, vyhlížela jsem celé prázdniny, jestli k nám náhodou nepřiletí sova a  nepošle mě pryč. Byla jsem sice hodně zklamaná, když mi ve skutečnosti opravdu žádný dopis z Bradavic nepřišel, ale myslím, že někde, kam ani nejlepší mikročip ani rentgen nevidí, se jednou sova snesla na náš plot a něco mi přinesla. Jinak si neumím vysvětlit, proč jsem si posledních osm let připadala jako z jiné planety.. a navíc zázrakem prolezla základku i střední o.O

Asi mi to ulehčovalo čekání na další filmy a knížky.. nezapomenu, jak jsem o Vánocích dostala konečně pátý díl a přečetla ho přes noc - což je mimochodem poprvé, co si vzpomínám, že jsem takhle přenocovala.. a naši mi pak odmítali koupit další knížky, protože jsem je přečetla tak rychle o.O

A najednou.. tu je knížka poslední.. a je tak divný ji dočíst, prostě skončit.. pořád si říkám, ještě filmy.. ještě dva filmy.. ale i ty přišly tak brzy.. a najednou má být definitivně po všem. Sice se snažím uklidnit tím, že za dvacet let vznikne remake a mně bude zase deset a tentokrát k nám sova opravdu přiletí.. ale co budu dělat do té doby? Kdo mne uchvátí?

Pan Potter mne provedl dětstvím.. ale teď se po mně chce dospělost. Co s tím?

holy.. day

Zatímco se většina mých pod/nad=vrstevníků právě válí kdesi pod stolem, případně po něm "tančí", já zírám na DLM a řeším svoje pochybný vidiny ze spánku minulých nocí..

Zvláště ta předminulá.. nebo předpředminulá?.. nemám páru, jak se to počítá, když právě teď je něco před druhou ráno.. =X

Každopádně, byla to vskutku praštěná slátanina, která se může zrodit asi vážně jen ve fantasii existencí popsaných v první větě..

Spoustu šílených detailů raději vynechám, nechám jen ten nejdivnější..

Narodila se mi holčička. Maličká, drobná, překrásně se smála.. A já si jí z nepochopitelných důvodů chtěla nechat. Přitom to byla reálná situace.. Byla jsem přijatá na vejšku a naivně si myslela, že to zvládnu.. Všechno prostě půjde..

..

Pořád mám před očima to drobný tělíčko.. menší, než nedonošený děti.. menší, než panenka.. Nechápu, kde se to v mojí hlavě vzalo.. ale dítě znamená starosti.. A to právě nechápu.

 

Už poslední měsíc - když nepočítám lítání z přijímaček na přijímačky - mám prakticky prázdniny, v sobotu mizím a pak v pátek znovu.. Poslední rok jsem se asi třikrát dostala téměř k nervovýmu zhroucení ze zkoušek (už jsem se zmiňovala o svých sklonech k přehánění?) a ze strachu, co se stane, když něco podělám.. A teď, když si červen přidal dvě písmenka navíc, už to má zase začít znovu?

Musím citovat slečnu H. : NO WAY!!

Na to nemám sílu.. musím si ji šetřit na ledový noci ve stanu po protancovaným dnu, na anglány s přízvukem, kterýmu nebudu rozumět, a na to, jak mezi nimi protlačím svýho neanglofilního brášku, taky na olímečkované staré pány, co si rádi stěžují lidem, kterých se to netýká (mně, například) a pak taky na další stan a na týden s bruslema a lidma, kterých se asi trochu bojím.. a snad to ještě není všechno.

 

Ať už se má stát cokoli, doufám, že moje kůže zůstane stále pěkně bledá, i přes svoje prasácký řízení do nikoho nenabourám a na konci září potkám chlapce z přijímaček, protože má zatraceně dobrej vkus^^

..

Mimochodem, jmenovala se Barborka.

 

Dear Lady America,

.. I have never had anything against You.
I love Your music, Your history, Your literature (Mr. Poe <3). Many of Your citizens became my heroes who I want to see for myself one day.
I must admit I don't like Your fast food chains but that's because vegetarians can't find there anything to eat.
I am not religious, I hate wars.. But political system isn't perfect in any state I know so I cannot say anything bad on its address.
..
But, please, could You explain me WHY did You get the icon of muslim world the day my parents went for the greatest holiday of their lifetime to NEW YORK?! I love them so much and now I am sitting on a sofa, safe, but shaking because of fear. You owe me thousands of tears and my nerves. And nine sleepless nights (or full of nightmares.. the today's one was extremely horrible..)
..
After two weeks I should be able to do one of the biggest exams in my school life and I cannot concentrate because mum and dad are behind the ocean, in a land where everything is possible. I wish they enjoyed it as much as they can. I am ready for all troubles if it would keep them safe. But why.. why, why why.. Two little creatures who stayed at home need their parents. And not only these two..

PS: I have nothing against muslims, I know that not all of them are terrorists. But only one person with bombs around one's body can destroy many lives..

2PS: My mum called me that they are okay. This article was written in fear and nervousness. There are another bad things which can happen. So, please, Lady America, take care of them.

Bells were ringing, Agnes was singing..

..but the melody was different =X

I realized I hate funerals.. but not because of death who caught another innocent creature.. but because of another family meeting.

I realized I prefer The Cure's version of Love will tear us apart than the original by Joy Division =X

I realized I am loosing the marathon with the Time which is laughing at me and trying to destroy everything I am working on..

..and I realized that calling Confused "confused" wasn't such a good idea.. because it made him confused in real which is not what I intended =X

Realizing things is not much fun.. better is knowing nothing and being lost in Your own thoughts. But I realized that just too late..

I'm not after fame and fortune..

..Agnes should stop listening to RA so often..but it is stronger than her.. she need to do it or she will get mad.. wait a minute.. she actually got mad!!

I was watching the Lords of Dogtown and.. I really want to skate, now!!
I love winter.. today is the day when snowflakes came back to say "hello" and I was happy that I saw them, but.. they built the barrier between me and my will to fall on hard concrete while wearing wheel boots, because it can make me feel alive.
But now? I am stuck in my bedroom because viruses and bacterias came for a visit, watching silly teenage films and dreaming about next week..

two schoolless weeks.. two weeks of heaven?
not at all..
I want to see Mr. C and tell him the truth..
exactly how lady Lou has written to me..
I have got a beautiful package from her^^

and also a letter from miss G.

I have not seen her for..7 years? and she can still remember me!

"I'm about to have a nervous breakdown.. my head really hurts.."
am I really such a typical teenager or is this song really describing how do I feel?
See, I should stop listening to that.. I should return to Mr. Cave and Corner and Curtis.. but You know what? They are my energy vampires, I always feel so weak after their songs.. so I need crazy rock of some guys who might be called posers because they play on saving the planet and then eat in McDonald's, but the energy.. the energy* is something special on them and I cannot give it up.. because I love it.. the same as I love skating.. and I need it..as soon as possible..

*when I write about energy I mean the earlier songs..



lost in post

I had a horrible dream today..

I was at some meadow or on the forest road when I saw a creature.. it had two legs and an enormous head with a giant mouth and it remind me some kind of frog.
Its skin was scaly but not so rough..
It terrified me but at the beginning it did not seem to hurt me.. actually, it wanted to play with me.. or me to follow it?.. my memory is not so clear.. but after a while the creature changed its mind and started to bite me.. my whole body was in its mouth however I could not feel its sharp teeth. I was not hurt at all.
Then I can remember I was trying to escape it.. with some members of my family..
..and after that came blackout because I waked up.

the end of the year started inviting everyone to celebrate, myself included..

I am not a fan of big festivals and parties, actually, I hate watching drunk people..
I find them disgusting.. gross.. but perhaps also happy.

What do they miss in this world? A little drop of spirit makes them believe that they can do everything and that their troubles have never really existed.
Everything is so bright and beautiful and.. tottering..

I am to spend the last day of the year at my granny's.

This is not what I planned about two days ago but my plans almost never become true.

Actually, I am looking forward to that.

My granny is the most important person in the world for me now. We can spend the whole day talking and laughing and crying and dreaming.. and I have not seen her since the winter holiday started.
Okay, my family went there after the Christmas Eve but how can You make fun of Your own family when they are right behind You?..

about the song..

last two days I spent watching Pride and Prejudice (the one with Keira Knightley and also the one with Colin Firth.)

16 hours of watching this beautiful dreamy story^^

of course, I could go for a walk or ice-skating or read all the books I have got but doing pointless things without any resolution is something I am really good at..

but I realized I have to wake up from dreaming and laziness because I need to get some white empire dress^^..

Gatsby on the board

Today in the morning I went with Gatsby in the bus.
Gatsby is the bus driver and this is not his real name.
But when I read Fitzgerald's novel he was exactly my vision of Gatsby^^..
He smiled to me very nice today. .
But Mr. Confused wasn't there.. yay..=X

I love giving nicknames to people around me.
Another bus driver is Frodo Baggins /he looks exactly like him!/ and next one is Walrus.. /very small, corpulent with a moustache/..
Mr. Nameless.. Mr. V. .. Mr. Confused..
..you can guess the meanings..

I have got the taste to see Harry Potter.

Maybe on Thursday after midnight I will be lucky..

I cannot wait any longer ^^

I was dancing today. Belly dancing, actually..

Seeing myself in the mirror while trying to do proper moves is.. depressive. It is very hard to concentrate in it.

I hate mirrors.. I hate bus.. I love Potter.. I like Confused.. =X

half jill..and half jack

I can remember nervousness.. laced stomach, which wanted to vomit.. insomnia.. confusion.. fear.. and very rude commissioner from this Thursday.
It was my second driving exam.
Second because I failed the first one..
/no more too fast turning =X/

There was only one sentence rotating in my brain..

Please, I don't want to repeat it for the third time..

This time I went slow.. shifted quickly.. stopped in front of all stop signs.. and passed it.
My body is still shaking when I'm remembering it.. I am driving licensed now =X
It's so crazy..
I still want to play with dolls but I can drive across the whole land..

no more waiting for bus which is always late but when You come late it leaves earlier =X
I love this new freedom and independence.. and that's all to the positive site of being full-aged.

Actually, Thursday was a good day.. Agnes bought buttons to her prom dress /EA inspired striped one^^/ and walked across a bridge where were no boats or ships /or Agnes didn't see them/ and at home she filled the resources of iron to her blood because of the lack of hemoglobin =X..

When the sun went down she decided to go out.

She had to ride her quad skates, she desired so much, on a new road on the second end of the village^^

Riding them is.. different. But Agnes didn't fall down the whole time.

Honestly, she was as careful as while doing the driving exam =X..

..but she went on a real road, no more carpet driving in her bloody red bedroom..

..no more hitting sharp furniture's corners..^^

..but no more Amanda Palmer's singing until I will put her amazing voice to the mobile phone.. =X




One last look on the sky and growing Moon.. and some ugly building =X

 

Agnes is quite tired and out of her writing fantasy..

At 3am after a tiring week she needs to sleep.

But she may come again.

Or not.

It's up to her..

I am just a writer.

But she is the living creature.. or isn't she?

pictures taken on a mobile phone

descending angel

Where should I begin?
..
Colourful leaves are raining and I cannot see the road because they have covered everything. And one is in my mind too. How could it get inside? o.O

The day before yesterday I saw him. Mr. Confused. He sat in front of me so I could watch him.
Well, it is his favourite seat. At the back in the line behind the busdriver. Mine too.
So we play these silly games like who will sit there today? And I won^^. The day before yesterday..
But he will never know it. It is all in my head. I just sit and watch and think.
I am afraid of falling alseep so I could miss the pretty view although I know he exits the bus in the same station as me. And then he goes to the underground for Metro news, turns around and leaves the foolish girl behind him with her silly thoughts and dreams. And she goes her own way on, holding the same newspapers, because she does not want to be late at school, where she can continue in dreaming..

I had finnish language course yesterday.

Finnish is magical, the language of elves and fairies and moomins..

My teacher is a bit confused too but I like her teaching.. I cannot imagine me teaching anybody anything..

After finnish I had meeting with Kuya. We went to the cinema on Habermann's mill*.
I have never hated my own nationality so much.

I do not like Germany /although Heaven under Berlin** is wonderfull/ and wars but I cannot say that German people are worse than anyone else.

People can be horrible and cruel everywhere and everytime. Just choose..

Blood sampling is waiting for me. Syringes started to sing their song of sleaze..

On Friday I am going to see the doctor.

I do not want to swoon but these days I do not feel much strong or brave. Actually, I am terrified.

Only Edgar brings me up.
This one:

from here

Underbust with Poe.. I can imagine me wearing it during the final exams from literature ^^

But I am not sure whether to buy it.. I am pathetic but is it enough to spend so much money on crazy corset?

Gorgeous kitsch..

I should have been learning chemistry and biology..
But it is not such fun as self-pity and silly dreaming..

What the hell happened to me?

Agnes

*Habermannův mlýn - Czech film directed by Juraj Herz

**Nebe pod Berlínem - Czech book written by amazing Jaroslav Rudiš <3

Up and out

It took me a long time to do this and it is finally here.

I decided to write a blog in English.

I have been learning this language for 12 years but I do not feel like a professional translator.

There is going to be a lot of grammar mistakes on this blog.

I am sure You can find them in this article too.

But this is the only way how can I express myself.

I want to write. I need to write.
This is my place.

Call me Agnes.