trochu zázrak, trochu kobliha, trochu panika

I have to say I planned to post something different but plans never actually come out like we expected so.. that’s it.

Tomorrow is a big day for me and I am terrified.
After almost 4 months of freedom I can say ( I )..

compensated the sleep deficit for last 4 years,

decided to use my driving licence to ignore the bus going from my village, which extended my life but threatened lives of the others driving the same road,

filled my closet with gorgeous treasures found at thrift stores,

“renewed” some old friendships which I hope would last longer,

saw so many beautiful musicians (and other creatures) who I hope will start to occupy my dreams when my life starts to remind living hell,

found someone who likes to watch me dancing (unfortunately, he was drunk and I was scared so it has no funny future content),

definitely buried my relationship with the Sun because I do NOT want to look like grilled flesh,

lost uncountable amount of ideals and dreams and replaced them with twice as many other naive visions which I won’t gave up so easily,

people stopped guessing I look older than I currently am,

became more insecure about my future life – mainly it’s because of this gloomy Thursday when I first saw my future classmates which terrified me so I think next 3 (or 5?) years I will be bigger introvert than I was (and I actually cannot imagine it),

and finally.. I found the song of this holiday! Mhmm.. which one could it be.. wait for it.. magic, people.. VOODOO PEOPLE!

..

Yep, I’m going to school tomorrow. For the first time. My guts are “dancing” pogo, my head is turning and trying to erase all thoughts which could be dangerous tomorrow but it’s unsuccessful, and my heart? Ohh, please, better not to ask or my bloody red bedroom would become REALLY bloody red.. (Pretty disgusting.. pretty true..)

Why is the first day so important? I never make a good first impression, no matter how I try.. and meeting new people is like lying-in for me.. but what is the absolutely worst thing is the fact that I have FOUR lessons of creative writing tomorrow afternoon and if there is only one thing I am sure about then it is the fact that the part of my brain, where the fantasy lies, is on strike and until I would feed it with better feelings it would refuse to help me.. four lessons.. that’s worse than giving a birth.. that’s a living hell..

and all I can do is to..

..but unfortunately, I am southpaw.