lost in post

I had a horrible dream today..

I was at some meadow or on the forest road when I saw a creature.. it had two legs and an enormous head with a giant mouth and it remind me some kind of frog.
Its skin was scaly but not so rough..
It terrified me but at the beginning it did not seem to hurt me.. actually, it wanted to play with me.. or me to follow it?.. my memory is not so clear.. but after a while the creature changed its mind and started to bite me.. my whole body was in its mouth however I could not feel its sharp teeth. I was not hurt at all.
Then I can remember I was trying to escape it.. with some members of my family..
..and after that came blackout because I waked up.

the end of the year started inviting everyone to celebrate, myself included..

I am not a fan of big festivals and parties, actually, I hate watching drunk people..
I find them disgusting.. gross.. but perhaps also happy.

What do they miss in this world? A little drop of spirit makes them believe that they can do everything and that their troubles have never really existed.
Everything is so bright and beautiful and.. tottering..

I am to spend the last day of the year at my granny's.

This is not what I planned about two days ago but my plans almost never become true.

Actually, I am looking forward to that.

My granny is the most important person in the world for me now. We can spend the whole day talking and laughing and crying and dreaming.. and I have not seen her since the winter holiday started.
Okay, my family went there after the Christmas Eve but how can You make fun of Your own family when they are right behind You?..

about the song..

last two days I spent watching Pride and Prejudice (the one with Keira Knightley and also the one with Colin Firth.)

16 hours of watching this beautiful dreamy story^^

of course, I could go for a walk or ice-skating or read all the books I have got but doing pointless things without any resolution is something I am really good at..

but I realized I have to wake up from dreaming and laziness because I need to get some white empire dress^^..

spider man is having me for dinner tonight

Many people says that the music of The Cure works as a real cure..
I love the music but I think it is making me feel worse..
and neither the hair and make-up of Robert Smith can make it better..

I said I am looking forward to snow and Chirstmas and all of this stuff, but..
I cannot say I am happy.

I met many beautiful people at the Prague Lolita meeting.. and drank yogi tea, which I love..

I have written a letter but there is noone I can give it to..
Confused is missing.. and there is the whole weekend I have to wait before I get another chance..
I feel desperate and miserable and hating myself and the unknown creature..

..I am just a lost teenage girl and this is how can I complain about it all..